(c)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt
September 30, 2015 (August 14, 2013)
Darwin, Australia
When we are on top of the world and or the world under our feet, no 'problema'. We live life to the fullest, everything around us rainbows of joy and happiness. Living luxuriously to the core, we do what we can, to keep with the Jone's. Nothing to complain 'as we often said.'
Yet, when the cycle reversed...the then happiest people will be the same people complain the loudest. The same people will be craving for the world's compassion. The same people will be complaining the loudest. The same people would be blaming everyone around them. Almost always the number one will be copping the blaming would be our parents and family.
I will be talking about my situation...just to be on the safe side of the coin. Well, I was born in a very poor family. While growing up sixty-one (61) years ago, I am remembering what life used to be. In material things we are in shortage but love lives in our home.
Love was the core of happiness in our home. The home that was made of bamboo slats and nipa shingles yet, the laughter and the sharing living with us in full. I am one of the many that younger life was full of love and care of our parents, siblings and people around us in our community.
The hard back breaking farm works and doing odd jobs around our neighbourhood started at the very early years. Looking back now, I had no resentment being born as poor, for it made me strong and brave to face every trial in life both physical, mental (even though sometimes now and then I succumb to some weakness) and spiritual.
Twenty-eight (28) years ago and forty-five (45) days today being here in Darwin, Australia, I have so many things to be thankful for. Firstly, how my late husband Charles Richard Chapman Moffatt given me the opportunity of a lifetime to be in this lucky wonderful country. Through Love and Blessings from the LORD, and by using Charle's love and care for me the reason why I am here today.
Unconditional love,I can only give to you.
Charles was and is the very special person in my life. He was man with words of honour. He was a man who doesn't want me to cry. He was the one whom teaches me so much of how integrity and honour counts in life. He was the one showed me the beauty of HONESTY. He told me once and only one 'darling, if you are about to say to people, especially promises about love, if you don't meant it, don't say it, don't give people false hope for in the end you will break their heart.' From that day, his words stuck in my brain and it will be there forever. the reasons why I don't platy words about love these days. Whenever I say I LOVE YOU, I MEANT IT WITH ALL MY HEART.
People that know me, they see me as a happy go lucky person. Am I really? Or the smiles are only camouflage of my sadness and loneliness. Truly, there are so many events in my life that scared me to death, chopped my heart into pieces, put my brain in turmoil and spiritually demented.
Yes, I've learned the hard way. No one will ever understand me unless one wear my shoes and walk into the journey I've been through. One may survive the way I did or maybe surrender before the end of the first minute of the journey I've walked. In my high school days, my psychology teacher asked us to bring something that represent us and why? On the way to school I picked a weed. He asked me, "why weed?" I replied "because sir, all I need is of little water, a little love and care and I will survive anywhere I go.' And up to this day, I live in this principle. I look after myself as I can to the best I can.
I give love without expecting in return. I love because LOVING IS MY WAY OF LIVING. I've learned at an early age that never to expect anything in return, for if I do, I will end up disappointed and certainly it will bring me pain and suffering.
Sure I have so the right(s) to complain and blame many people around me of who I am today and all the hurt and pain and suffering I've been through but what good would it do? Nothing! Only giving back pain.
An old adage says, "Life is what we make it.' So I believe in this. There are people out there that has the best of everything of material values but deep inside their inner being they are not happy.
Some maybe, still looking for that UNCONDITIONAL LOVE...THE MOST EXPENSIVE LOVE OF ALL...IT IS PRICELESS...SO YOU should be thankful if you've got that LOVE FROM ME. I seldom give the total of me to anyone. I love others like a half-full glass of water on that table. Full of reservation(s) but not with YOU.
One thing I don't want from anyone is 'pity', which often camouflaged with compassion. When we are in a very vulnerable state of mind, people tend to comfort us, and we put everything into compassion. Yes, maybe initially they all are, but if we keep on dragging things into our lives that makes us unhappy and miserable and so we keep on expecting people compassion(s) in the end the same people will get sick of us and will start to hate us secretly. The minute they see us coming, they will hide and run as fast as they could (I maybe wrong). Everything has its limits even compassion and kindness whey they can feel that we are not trying our best to live life as we should.
Basing on the above scenario, one need no pity nor compassion. Self-pity is self indulgence, can also be a sort to manipulate others so to be sorry for you, so they won't leave you. That is a fear of being alone....
The past and the people in it weren't to be blamed. The circumstances were. In my case if I start blaming the past and the people from my growing life, I will be the most hateful person you would ever known in this face of the earth. I had and have so many reasons to. But, I have given the power of the brain to make choices of life I want to life. I chose the BETTER of the two, LIVE LIFE HAPPILY WITHOUT CONTEMPT ABOUT THE WORLD. I'VE GOT ONLY ONE LIFE TO LIVE AND I WILL LIVE MY LIFE THE WAY I WANT TO BE, WITH THE GUIDANCE AND BLESSINGS FROM THE LORD.
We all know that we can't have the best of both worlds. See, I rather be the receiver of pain ad hurt, rather than the giver. I can sleep better even in pain and hurting. While, hurting and giving pain to others, I always get sick inside. It is easy to forgive than that to hate.
I am blunt, one said because I say what I think. Well, it is better to be blunt and abrupt with sincerity than that of being 'mister/miss nice talker but full of bullshits.' It is better to cut right in the bud than give flaming pink lies. You can call me, miss blunt perfect, if I care.....
Bluntly, bluntly and abruptly I am...
