Stringless Guitar

Our Life

(c)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - December 16, 2013 (Revised)
Darwin, Australia

Our life today is the journey of our yesterdays
If only we can come back so to pick up the pieces
but life always going forward, and no turning back
Our body dies, only but memories remains forever.

Everyday, the sun shines and rain comes with nature's love
Wind blowing never stop, even in the stillness of the night
I watch the flowers and leaves changes colours everyday
Flowers withered and golden leaves fall onto the ground.

Like us, from the eggs and sperms of our dear parents
Nine months mother's womb, she carries without complain
Born and grow old and older as the days goes on and on
Until the day, when the nature decides it is time for us to go.

Like flowers, we do withered and have use by date...expires they said
All we can do, surrender to nature's power....for we are but passing
Until the next flowering season, flowers will bloom again and again
Yet, we human have only one chance...one chance to bloom in this
EARTH..............

SO LET US VALUE OUR LIFE WITH ALL OUR MIGHT...
FOR OUR LIFE IS A GIFT FROM OUR GOD ABOVE!!!

=ONE OF MY OWN CREATION=
BY: JULIETA CASABUENA FACTO MOFFATT

=

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL=

My Heart is bigger than my Pain

MY HEART IS BIGGER THAN MY PAIN
(C)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - December 4, 2013
Darwin, Australia

When I was growing up, there WERE things and situations/instances that given me heartaches and pain...Pain that turned me so cold inside.  There were times that I thought I can't survive the trials of life.  Yet, I am still here! OFTEN YOU SEE SMILING SWEETLY.

As I reached the age of eighteen years old....and so on...I became more resilient to every trials that comes my way.  Only me and my only self can change my life, can solve the problem for the betterment of my own self. WITH THE GUIDANCE AND LOVE OF MY LORD, JESUS CHRIST, I am what I am today. 

The pain and sufferings I've been through, no one can ever know.  With people and friends that know me, they always made comments of how can they never see me not smiling...so one said that I am so lucky I don't have problems.  I thank her for that!  For it is so true...why should I not be always smiling?  I am still alive...even with all those trials and chaos of life I've been through.

As a widow, I don't want to elaborate how my feelings was and is.  Because the past was of the past and the memories will live on forever in my heart.  I don't stop loving Charles, he was and is still a part of my life.  Charles will always be in my heart...He has a special place that no one will ever take it.  Like my late mother, she will always have the BIGGEST PART IN MY HEART, next to GOD.  Charles and mum are now in the other journey....yet...THE LOVE OF ME FOR THEM IS STILL BURNING LIKE BEFORE AND WILL NEVER DIES DOWN... I KEEP THE FLAME OF LOVE BURNING....

I LOVE AND RESPECT CHARLES SO DEARLY but he is not with me anymore. I need to move on with life...NEED TO LIVE LIFE...and to fall in love again, sure I am not disloyal to him.

Six years ago, I never thought that I will fall in love again....but TIME DID DECIDES...GOD sent me a gentleman that I used to know.  From the first time and for the period of six years...I can only remember to talked to him in total of less than two hours...then....October 2012..the said gentleman approached me and told me that he is now a widower, and that night he was leaving for Fiji for a month, and he said that he would love to have a cup of coffee with me when he come back from Fiji, which I seconded 'I would love that too.'

Months flies, no see of him, no heard of him.  He didn't come into my mind even a bit for all the months that gone away.

January 5, 2013... waiting for friends to see movie, I was sitting on the same spot, on the same bench of last October 2012...I saw him coming smiling towards me.  And that was the beginning of our now coming into eleven months relationship by this December 10, 2014.

The relationship has so many ups and downs...I have doubts and I am sure he has too, where this relationship going....up to now....I still don't know where this GOING????????????

There are things that I often wanted to ask but, I am afraid to, because am so afraid what would his answer(s) be.  

The pain and the silent suffering I am keeping inside myself is worst than that of the sufferings of being poor in material things.  Emotion/love feelings are the greatest stress and anxiety producers. I am affected with these two forever and a day since I feel in love again.  Gosh I did promised my self that I will not going to love again...but I always eat my words when it comes to falling in love.  I am so hopeless in this case.

These days, I do have doubts about certain things...and if my brain to decide I am going to cease the relationship.  Yet, my heart shouting, screaming not to give him away.  To hang on to what is today. One asked me, what I really want from this relationship?  My reply is that 'I don't have want, all I need is him and his love.

Him and his love.  How can I have him and him to love me truly?  While he is still in his cave? Would it be wise for me to hang on to this relationship or not?  I don't know what to do.  I am suffering silently.  I don't want to hurt him because I love him so.  But, I had so many experiences in life, that I've been hanging on to something for years, the longest of waiting was 39 years and it always ends up into nothing only but heartaches and disappointments. 

I don't fall in love lightly...when I love, I love to the deepest meaning of the word and feelings.  It will last a lifetime, even that person won't ever love me...still my love will live on, that is how I am when it comes to loving someone...unconditional.

My present mind is of confusion because now I am looking for conditions of loving him...I am trying my best not to, but, I am so dazed and confused right now.  He says things and do things in other way.  He is sending me and my heart mixed messages...My brain is in chaos and my heart is in suffering.

I've tried to stop my self loving him but it is so impossible...with all his many flaws I have my own too...so for the moment of time.......

MY HEART IS BIGGER THAN MY PAIN...SO I WILL STILL BE LOVING YOU NO MATTER WHAT..........

but ONLY TIME CAN TELL.......

FOR TIME HAS ITS OWN LIMITS.....

TIME DECIDES OVER MY HEART....AND HOPE YOU GET OUT OF YOUR CAVE SOON...OR MAYBE, MIGHT ONE DAY I AM  NOT THERE FOR YOU......I AM WITH SOMEONE NEW...THAT IS WILLING TO LOVE AND CARE FOR ME WITHOUT RESERVE WITHOUT DOUBT....

for the meantime...

MY HEART IS BIGGER THAN MY PAIN.....

i am HURT but it is NOTHING....for....

MY HEART IS BIGGER THAN MY PAIN...

MANY OF YOUR WORDS AND ACTIONS SLICED MY HEART INTO PIECES

BUT...IT'S OK......I UNDERSTAND YOU.....

my heart is bleeding....but it is NOTHING...

MY LOVE IS BIGGER THAN ALL THE PAIN YOU ARE GIVING ME...

but remember........

TIME DECIDES......

my heart is bigger than my pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU...

=BECAUSE OF YOU, I SMILE, I LAUGH AND I CRY=

LOVE ON CREDIT

LOVE ON CREDIT
(C)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - November 26, 2013
Wanguri, Darwin, Australia

L-ike today, yesterday and many a day you ring up
O-ver mobile phone of thousand miles across the distance
V-ariance of senses and all the moment of confusions
E-ven so I am thinking, longing and loving you so.

O-H! I've got to go my phone credit is running out, you said
N-ow, you are so rude with me, sadness my heart felt so.

C-arelessly you cut me off .............so fast....so fast...so..
R-unning on credit my phone, you said...and there you're gone
E-xcuse me!  Why not just let your credit run out?  Do you really care?
D-ear me, Dear me!  How could you?  How could you? Yet, I still love you
I-nside of me that moment of time, I am so hurt and feeling so not wanted
T-oday, your ways made me think hard, very seriously and hope I am wrong.

FOR WHAT I FEEL IS>>>

'WOW....TO YOU...
I AM LOVE ON CREDIT....
           
=I SAT STILL ON THE LANDING STEPS
HOLDING YOU IN MY HEART WITH SUCH LOVE
EVEN I AM HURTING, I CAN'T BRING MYSELF NOT TO CARE

YOU'VE CUT ME OFF WITHOUT DUE CARE, WHY?  I QUESTIONED
THEN, FEW MINUTES AFTER, YOU RING BACK
'I AM SO SORRY, I WAS SO RUDE TO YOU, I CUT YOU OFF.' YOU SAID
'IT'S OK, I UNDERSTAND, LOVE ON CREDIT,' I RESPONDED WITH A LAUGH
'I AM SORRY.'  YOU REPEATED YOURSELF
'FORGET ABOUT IT.  SAID, DONE AND FORGOTTEN.' MY REPLY
AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS....

MAY IT BE LOVE ON CREDIT...I STILL LOVE YOU...!!!!

AND WILL ALWAYS WILL....LOVE ON CREDIT

thank you

(c)Copyright Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - Oct.6, 2013
Darwin, Australia


thank you all for visiting my blog
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thank you
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FLOWERS FOR ALL MY FOLLOWERS, VIEWERS AND READERS OF MY BLOG
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cheers and take care.

My Life - Day by Day: Pointy Face

My Life - Day by Day: Pointy Face: Pointy Face (c)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - August 4, 2013 Darwin, Australia I've met Pointy Face early of January this year J...

Pointy Face

Pointy Face
(c)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - August 4, 2013
Darwin, Australia

I've met Pointy Face early of January this year
Jet black coat and a pair of like sock white feet
White whiskers, a pair of beautiful green eyes
She always welcome me by running between my legs.

As days goes on, we became so connected
Once I was watering the garden, she follows me like a child
She never make a meow, rubbing her side body on my legs
Looking up at me as she moves away to give way for me.

I called her now Pointy, I've dropped the face
For I know she is so lovely just the name Pointy
I talked to her, she don't response even once
But her big green eyes, show how she cares for me.

Pointy is my only animal or cat friend ever here in Australia
The short time we shared, six months is short but sweet
Pointy you will be a treasured friend forever, I am so blessed
I wish the ending is not coming soon, but.....................

This afternoon was the time to say goodbye
For the circumstances arises that the two of us has no control
As I say goodbye....to you
'Pointy Face, my darling Pointy, I am saying goodbye.'

My heart jump went to my throat....my heart is breaking
As you look at me 'then kisses my big toes.'
Rub your body on my legs and lay down in front of me
I am crying, you look up on with your sad big green eyes.

We went quiet for both we are in pain
The situation arises is not of our doing
But for the meantime, I am loving you forever
Pointy until we see each other again in another time!

Pointy Face.....Pointy Face.....I am missing always!

My friend - Pointy Face....Pointy I love you so much.

Pointy Face ---My Pointy my best friend....Loving you so much.

today, made me realized that animals do hear us, understand us and our feelings and they know if we do love them or not....I know with all my heart Pointy Face was so heart broken as I am when we are saying goodbye.......