Ghost

(c)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - March 16, 2012

Darwin, Australia

Ghost of the past....each one of us has it. IN the beginning I am to afraid to accept in the time I knew to think back of whom I became and where I came from....My roots is my ghost of the past. 

I have three ghost in my life, the past, in between and the present...the good, the bad and the in between.  I've given them names...the beauty, the ugly and the beugly. (be- from the beauty and ugly -obviously from the ugly itself).

My beauty ghost is the wonderful memories of growing in the Hacienda San Roque, Hinigaran, Negros Occidental, Philippines.  The place where I learned what is unconditional love is and I carried it all to this day. That is were simple living was meant so much to me.  No keeping up with the Jones'S.  That is were I was taught with our parents that ...FOREMOST before I can love, care and respect someone....it has to be from my inner self.  I have to know who I am and what I need in life.We are taught 'needs' not wants.  My mother once said' that love is who I am.'  I cannot afford to love, care and respect someone if I don't have that inside of me.  And as to this day...I know my dear mother was right and so is my dear father!

My ugly ghost of the past ....is that I learned in my younger age how poor of the Philippines live life in a pittance.  I thought slavery is not in existence until I saw it with wide-eyed opened shut many years ago....truly half century ago...what a life that was.  Yet, even we are then poor and living in a hand to mouth existence but there was laughter and joy in our hearts for LOVE IS IN OUR HEARTS.  

Now my old Hacienda were I used to longed and yearned for is not there anymore.  I will never hear again the music of dried golden leaves of summer of sugarcane fields across the valley just in front of our old family home.  Now it is all cemented houses erected in lieu of sugarcane plantations.  People are more in hardship that 50 years ago.  How sad!  The closeness of Hacienda's people are now disappearing...  

The beugly ghost ....it is just of what is I believe to be in between...so far I am not sure....I need to look back once more tomorrow....what was then...the in between GHOST!!!!