Wrong of the Beginning

(c)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - March 20, 2012

Darwin, Australia

When he asked me to come and live with him for thirty days I thought that was a perfect beginning.  But obviously it has some downfalls that I had to face sooner or later from that very beginning.

He picked me up with a broken heart- he helped me mended it by his love, care, kindness and thoughtfulness that I cannot imagine a man like him can possess.  It was a thirty days of happy living easy go lucky in a very nice place....the waves from the ocean were like classical music to my ears....the beauty of the starry night sky above the nightcliff seashore....the storms that hammered the cliffs day and night for days....as I sit on the bench near the nightcliff swimming pool...waves hammering hard against the rock...salty seawater sprinkles onto my brown-skin face....my red lips savours the saltiness of the seawater and that brings me back to my country of birth Philippines.

His love and everything shown to me I thought was such a perfect combination of who he really as a person, and that there were no other motives other than that he really care for me as a person.

Thousands of words by text messages we shared for the one year time since we've met but 'that is there is to it in my understanding.  Why?  Because since I've left his place....We text each other every single night...with of course some days we have disagreements and sure a night or two no text message to each other.  But we always come to terms and reconciled and text messages nightly back in our Agenda.  

I didn't tell him that text messages to him cost of hundreds of dollars since I've known him.  I don't want him to know because I don't want him to think that I put money value on our friendship, so I keep it to myself and anyway I love him dearly as my treasured friend.

But last Friday, March 16, 2012...was the last strew that kills the 'shit out of me.' friends or not friends...that is it....I won't hack any 'BS' from anyone.  I am a peace loving person, but I won't let anyone walk over me forever.  I give three strikes....then...BOWLED!

For four nights now I didn't sleep enough for I am thinking hard, reconsidering whether our friendship worth another try and salvaging.  But I came to conclusion right now that it is much better for me to get away from his life....for two people living in a different world would never be one in views!

I wish him well for his future and hope that he will open his eyes wide and see the real world with honesty inside his heart for unless he sees who he is INSIDE he will never understand my views of HOW I LOVE AND CARE FOR HIM, and for him to understand that he is not the rebound friend...he is what he is to me, no comparison to anyone in my life before and now.

Wrong of the Beginning was that he knows too much about my stupidity in loving someone....the love that was unrequited that almost cost my life.  Did he played with my emotions so that he can manipulate me of the thinking that he did care and loved me, but in truth he was laughing his heads off of me being fooled of his scammed kindness. Was it right of me to think......THAT WAS THE WRONG OF THE BEGINNING?

OBVIOUSLY THAT WAS....but I didn't see it because I was in pain!

Wrong of the Beginning I trusted him so much....and I still trust him so...Now this is the WRONG OF THE END.....trusting him still....grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!