December 9, 2011- Darwin, Australia
A friend text me three nights ago 'J what do you get up to Christmas?' I told him nothing in my calendar yet but I am thinking of checking in SkyCityCasino on Christmas Eve as friends leaving Darwin going visiting family to spend christmas time with them.
He told me to go and book a room and he is happy to shout me christmas lunch or dinner at the Casino. I told him it is only a thought for now for I know it so expensive. I acceppted his dinner invitation and asked him we can go into a less expensive restaurant and a simple dinner with him I would be happy. Not in Casino because we all know that this time of year it would be extravantly cost. He was with me and he said 'cool, I am looking forward to see you.' and I seconded 'same here.'
Last night he reminded me and that he is really looking forward to see me Friday night at our fave Laksa junction. Then tonight at 8:28 p.m. he leave a message in my phone that if it would be alright he can take his ex-wife with him to our dinner date, but he feel uncomfortable if she is there and that he prefers to be just him and I. So i text him that it is up to him, I am easy. Yet, he wanted me to decides, because he doesn't want to offend me..what a crap I thought..he is already offending me heaps....so I text back telling him "AM AMAZED YOU WANT ME TO DECIDES AND DO THE DIRTY LINENS SO, PLEASE TAKE HER TO DINNER TOMORROW NIGHT AND ENJOY. FORGET ME AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE AM THAT THICKSKINNED? I DO GET HURT TOO. I DO WISH YOU THE BEST.'
'What? You are so strange j, all you have to say was just you and I. So i will see you tomorrow night at 7. Do we not know each other enough for you to say, you'd rather it was just you and I?' rock xxx
'Rock, sorry i think it is right for me to give way. Now I am sad because of me being bad. Obviously you wanted her to be with you there. For if not you won't put me in an awkward position so what I've decided. Honestly I felt few times that my feelings has no consequence at all. Sorry I won't be there tomorrow night. Please just take her to dinner I won't take it against you. I am sorry that this happened.' Roll
'I have not shouted my ex-wife since we divorced in 2004. It was only if you wanted to meet her. So now you will stay home and I will stay home. Good night.' Rock xx
'I wanted to meet her but you didn't tell me in the first place. So it is time for you to take her to dinner for old time. Nite. Roll
Now I can't go to sleep. It is my problem all the time when I am having misunderstanding with people I loved and not settled before I go to bed, you can rest assure I will be counting spiders in the dark. Sleep is so hard to come by. I wanted to cry my heads off but I can't. No more tears no cry, I am so immune to pain and suffering now.
Am I wrong to cancelled the dinner date or what? I am guilty because of me giving way? I thought that his ex was gone already but obviously she is still staying with him in his unit. By the way we are not in a relationship other than just friends. Sending text messages every night (99.99999% ) hail storms and all wherever we are since February 2011 up to now. The reason why all friends calling me 'crazy' for they said even sisters/brothers don't text each other every night....like the two of us doing... it cost me a lot of pain and money. I don't what to tell him that it is costing me for I don't want him to think that I put money value on our friendship.
If he wanted to shout his ex-wife WHY he didn't do it just them? I don't believe in three for 'THREE IS A CROWD'...I don't mind meeting people but for goodness sake ....please....not ex-wife in a dinner date....I wonder what he would feel if I took my ex-friend in his dinner date invitation...
He said to me that he cares and love me just the way I am. But is this the way a friend treat his woman friend? He was there when I was so sick....he helps me to get over my pain....and I appreciated it much BUT MY GOSH! IT DOESN'T GIVE HIM THE RIGHT TO WALK OVER ME. I WON'T LET DEBT OF GRATITUDE take the PRINCIPLE IN LIFE THAT I VALUE, AND THAT IS SELF-RESPECT AND WORD OF HONOUR.'
AM SO SORRY TO WHAT HAPPENED BUT as we often heard and said 'THINGS HAPPENED FOR A REASON.' AND I do hope this is for a GOOD REASON.
