Our Life

(c)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - December 16, 2013 (Revised)
Darwin, Australia

Our life today is the journey of our yesterdays
If only we can come back so to pick up the pieces
but life always going forward, and no turning back
Our body dies, only but memories remains forever.

Everyday, the sun shines and rain comes with nature's love
Wind blowing never stop, even in the stillness of the night
I watch the flowers and leaves changes colours everyday
Flowers withered and golden leaves fall onto the ground.

Like us, from the eggs and sperms of our dear parents
Nine months mother's womb, she carries without complain
Born and grow old and older as the days goes on and on
Until the day, when the nature decides it is time for us to go.

Like flowers, we do withered and have use by date...expires they said
All we can do, surrender to nature's power....for we are but passing
Until the next flowering season, flowers will bloom again and again
Yet, we human have only one chance...one chance to bloom in this
EARTH..............

SO LET US VALUE OUR LIFE WITH ALL OUR MIGHT...
FOR OUR LIFE IS A GIFT FROM OUR GOD ABOVE!!!

=ONE OF MY OWN CREATION=
BY: JULIETA CASABUENA FACTO MOFFATT

=

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL=

My Heart is bigger than my Pain

MY HEART IS BIGGER THAN MY PAIN
(C)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - December 4, 2013
Darwin, Australia

When I was growing up, there WERE things and situations/instances that given me heartaches and pain...Pain that turned me so cold inside.  There were times that I thought I can't survive the trials of life.  Yet, I am still here! OFTEN YOU SEE SMILING SWEETLY.

As I reached the age of eighteen years old....and so on...I became more resilient to every trials that comes my way.  Only me and my only self can change my life, can solve the problem for the betterment of my own self. WITH THE GUIDANCE AND LOVE OF MY LORD, JESUS CHRIST, I am what I am today. 

The pain and sufferings I've been through, no one can ever know.  With people and friends that know me, they always made comments of how can they never see me not smiling...so one said that I am so lucky I don't have problems.  I thank her for that!  For it is so true...why should I not be always smiling?  I am still alive...even with all those trials and chaos of life I've been through.

As a widow, I don't want to elaborate how my feelings was and is.  Because the past was of the past and the memories will live on forever in my heart.  I don't stop loving Charles, he was and is still a part of my life.  Charles will always be in my heart...He has a special place that no one will ever take it.  Like my late mother, she will always have the BIGGEST PART IN MY HEART, next to GOD.  Charles and mum are now in the other journey....yet...THE LOVE OF ME FOR THEM IS STILL BURNING LIKE BEFORE AND WILL NEVER DIES DOWN... I KEEP THE FLAME OF LOVE BURNING....

I LOVE AND RESPECT CHARLES SO DEARLY but he is not with me anymore. I need to move on with life...NEED TO LIVE LIFE...and to fall in love again, sure I am not disloyal to him.

Six years ago, I never thought that I will fall in love again....but TIME DID DECIDES...GOD sent me a gentleman that I used to know.  From the first time and for the period of six years...I can only remember to talked to him in total of less than two hours...then....October 2012..the said gentleman approached me and told me that he is now a widower, and that night he was leaving for Fiji for a month, and he said that he would love to have a cup of coffee with me when he come back from Fiji, which I seconded 'I would love that too.'

Months flies, no see of him, no heard of him.  He didn't come into my mind even a bit for all the months that gone away.

January 5, 2013... waiting for friends to see movie, I was sitting on the same spot, on the same bench of last October 2012...I saw him coming smiling towards me.  And that was the beginning of our now coming into eleven months relationship by this December 10, 2014.

The relationship has so many ups and downs...I have doubts and I am sure he has too, where this relationship going....up to now....I still don't know where this GOING????????????

There are things that I often wanted to ask but, I am afraid to, because am so afraid what would his answer(s) be.  

The pain and the silent suffering I am keeping inside myself is worst than that of the sufferings of being poor in material things.  Emotion/love feelings are the greatest stress and anxiety producers. I am affected with these two forever and a day since I feel in love again.  Gosh I did promised my self that I will not going to love again...but I always eat my words when it comes to falling in love.  I am so hopeless in this case.

These days, I do have doubts about certain things...and if my brain to decide I am going to cease the relationship.  Yet, my heart shouting, screaming not to give him away.  To hang on to what is today. One asked me, what I really want from this relationship?  My reply is that 'I don't have want, all I need is him and his love.

Him and his love.  How can I have him and him to love me truly?  While he is still in his cave? Would it be wise for me to hang on to this relationship or not?  I don't know what to do.  I am suffering silently.  I don't want to hurt him because I love him so.  But, I had so many experiences in life, that I've been hanging on to something for years, the longest of waiting was 39 years and it always ends up into nothing only but heartaches and disappointments. 

I don't fall in love lightly...when I love, I love to the deepest meaning of the word and feelings.  It will last a lifetime, even that person won't ever love me...still my love will live on, that is how I am when it comes to loving someone...unconditional.

My present mind is of confusion because now I am looking for conditions of loving him...I am trying my best not to, but, I am so dazed and confused right now.  He says things and do things in other way.  He is sending me and my heart mixed messages...My brain is in chaos and my heart is in suffering.

I've tried to stop my self loving him but it is so impossible...with all his many flaws I have my own too...so for the moment of time.......

MY HEART IS BIGGER THAN MY PAIN...SO I WILL STILL BE LOVING YOU NO MATTER WHAT..........

but ONLY TIME CAN TELL.......

FOR TIME HAS ITS OWN LIMITS.....

TIME DECIDES OVER MY HEART....AND HOPE YOU GET OUT OF YOUR CAVE SOON...OR MAYBE, MIGHT ONE DAY I AM  NOT THERE FOR YOU......I AM WITH SOMEONE NEW...THAT IS WILLING TO LOVE AND CARE FOR ME WITHOUT RESERVE WITHOUT DOUBT....

for the meantime...

MY HEART IS BIGGER THAN MY PAIN.....

i am HURT but it is NOTHING....for....

MY HEART IS BIGGER THAN MY PAIN...

MANY OF YOUR WORDS AND ACTIONS SLICED MY HEART INTO PIECES

BUT...IT'S OK......I UNDERSTAND YOU.....

my heart is bleeding....but it is NOTHING...

MY LOVE IS BIGGER THAN ALL THE PAIN YOU ARE GIVING ME...

but remember........

TIME DECIDES......

my heart is bigger than my pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU...

=BECAUSE OF YOU, I SMILE, I LAUGH AND I CRY=

LOVE ON CREDIT

LOVE ON CREDIT
(C)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - November 26, 2013
Wanguri, Darwin, Australia

L-ike today, yesterday and many a day you ring up
O-ver mobile phone of thousand miles across the distance
V-ariance of senses and all the moment of confusions
E-ven so I am thinking, longing and loving you so.

O-H! I've got to go my phone credit is running out, you said
N-ow, you are so rude with me, sadness my heart felt so.

C-arelessly you cut me off .............so fast....so fast...so..
R-unning on credit my phone, you said...and there you're gone
E-xcuse me!  Why not just let your credit run out?  Do you really care?
D-ear me, Dear me!  How could you?  How could you? Yet, I still love you
I-nside of me that moment of time, I am so hurt and feeling so not wanted
T-oday, your ways made me think hard, very seriously and hope I am wrong.

FOR WHAT I FEEL IS>>>

'WOW....TO YOU...
I AM LOVE ON CREDIT....
           
=I SAT STILL ON THE LANDING STEPS
HOLDING YOU IN MY HEART WITH SUCH LOVE
EVEN I AM HURTING, I CAN'T BRING MYSELF NOT TO CARE

YOU'VE CUT ME OFF WITHOUT DUE CARE, WHY?  I QUESTIONED
THEN, FEW MINUTES AFTER, YOU RING BACK
'I AM SO SORRY, I WAS SO RUDE TO YOU, I CUT YOU OFF.' YOU SAID
'IT'S OK, I UNDERSTAND, LOVE ON CREDIT,' I RESPONDED WITH A LAUGH
'I AM SORRY.'  YOU REPEATED YOURSELF
'FORGET ABOUT IT.  SAID, DONE AND FORGOTTEN.' MY REPLY
AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS....

MAY IT BE LOVE ON CREDIT...I STILL LOVE YOU...!!!!

AND WILL ALWAYS WILL....LOVE ON CREDIT

thank you

(c)Copyright Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - Oct.6, 2013
Darwin, Australia


thank you all for visiting my blog
tonight i've reached 4,008 views
i can't express my gratitude to you all
of how humbled i am for your visits.

thank you
i am sending you my sincere

FLOWERS FOR ALL MY FOLLOWERS, VIEWERS AND READERS OF MY BLOG
MY WAY OF SAYING THANKS TO ALL OF YOU....

appreciation
and love.

cheers and take care.

My Life - Day by Day: Pointy Face

My Life - Day by Day: Pointy Face: Pointy Face (c)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - August 4, 2013 Darwin, Australia I've met Pointy Face early of January this year J...

Pointy Face

Pointy Face
(c)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - August 4, 2013
Darwin, Australia

I've met Pointy Face early of January this year
Jet black coat and a pair of like sock white feet
White whiskers, a pair of beautiful green eyes
She always welcome me by running between my legs.

As days goes on, we became so connected
Once I was watering the garden, she follows me like a child
She never make a meow, rubbing her side body on my legs
Looking up at me as she moves away to give way for me.

I called her now Pointy, I've dropped the face
For I know she is so lovely just the name Pointy
I talked to her, she don't response even once
But her big green eyes, show how she cares for me.

Pointy is my only animal or cat friend ever here in Australia
The short time we shared, six months is short but sweet
Pointy you will be a treasured friend forever, I am so blessed
I wish the ending is not coming soon, but.....................

This afternoon was the time to say goodbye
For the circumstances arises that the two of us has no control
As I say goodbye....to you
'Pointy Face, my darling Pointy, I am saying goodbye.'

My heart jump went to my throat....my heart is breaking
As you look at me 'then kisses my big toes.'
Rub your body on my legs and lay down in front of me
I am crying, you look up on with your sad big green eyes.

We went quiet for both we are in pain
The situation arises is not of our doing
But for the meantime, I am loving you forever
Pointy until we see each other again in another time!

Pointy Face.....Pointy Face.....I am missing always!

My friend - Pointy Face....Pointy I love you so much.

Pointy Face ---My Pointy my best friend....Loving you so much.

today, made me realized that animals do hear us, understand us and our feelings and they know if we do love them or not....I know with all my heart Pointy Face was so heart broken as I am when we are saying goodbye.......

My Life - Day by Day: Why loving scared them away?

My Life - Day by Day: Why loving scared them away?: Why loving scared them away? (c)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - July 28, 2013 Darwin, Australia Why?  My love scared the hell out of t...

Why loving scared them away?

Why loving scared them away?
(c)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - July 28, 2013
Darwin, Australia

Why?  My love scared the hell out of them?  In all due respects I deleted photos and names and next time never would I used names and photos of some.  I ear-marked it in my heart.  Never will I ever hurt them again.

Anyone should be happy if I given them my Love.  Because when I love someone, I give the best possible unconditional love and just be happy for that.  You are loved without begging for it...that is the beauty of it.... a love that is freely given.  No service fees.

GOD DIED FOR US BECAUSE OF HIS LOVE TO US MANKIND....so what is wrong with me to love much?

If one don't want or need my love don't come near me, for they will only be disappointed of me not loving them...so if one out there thinking of knowing me and not expecting to be loved, please stay foot wherever they may be.

Yet, in this chaotic world of ours...time changed and so as with some of our behaviours goes with it. People forget how to reciprocate love...For five years or so ago, I was one of them, because of grieving...there is nothing wrong to grieve...if only I accepted it sooner with opened heart and let it flow, but I didn't.  That time I started not to feel love I was so cold inside.

I was suffering in silence...mouth closed I am shouting and screaming for help...at that time I need someone to love me but no one did ever see me...the pain and suffering were so intense. The sadness part is that Recovery is a very slow process.  It makes us so vulnerable in every way.  I was taken for granted so many times during those grieving time, even now.  But it doesn't surprises me at all...I am used to it...always on the losing end of the stick...yet, it is all a part of who I am now.  It made me strong!

My best weapon is my LORD, as I can't hurry anything...only GOD CAN CALM THE SEA AND THE ONLY ONE CAN PUT PULL STOP ON ALL my MISERIES.  I've given everything to the LORD.  AND I AM SO THANKFUL THAT I DID, FOR THE REASON  why I AM still HERE TODAY alive.


BUT, THE  LORD didn't put magic to me just because I prayed hard to HIM FOR HIS GUIDANCE, I did my share, helping myself to get out of the darkness surrounding me.  I was caged, caved and scared. One day I decided to kick my arse for I and I alone can change my self value and no one else.  Even the best shrink in the face of the earth can 't change my thinking unless I want to. Going seeing the shrink only relieving the anxiety and suffering of pain.  I stopped seeing them for I am the only shrink can CURE MY WOUNDED HEART AND FEELING SELF PITY....I am glad I never had a feeling of GUILT...for I've given my best of the best of loving and caring.

My acceptance that changed my opinion about death. Death is not the tragedy, but when I lost my feelings to love once more that is the TRAGEDY for it kills the life in me. Love is the only cure for my broken hearted. My first agenda to recovery was and is 'I LOVE GOD ABOVE ALL....I stopped negative thoughts, for if I did dwelt in them...definitely I am in ruin today without doubt.

With all thanks to the LORD that HE didn't put my desire of the body over my sense of shame...if I didn't hold onto the LORD...I am sure I've been with many men on a one night stand... I am so blessed that since five years or so ago up to the present...I've been intimate only and only to one man and I hope it would stay that way.

I hold onto GOD'S HAND, KEEP LOVING HIM ABOVE ALL, and HE  let never go me. When I am drifting away HE hold MY hand and keep ME AFLOAT. I shut the entrance to the cave with GOD'S LOVE  and since then I never dare to go in the cave...for it was so dark and cold in there...I let the LORD carry the torch FOR ME SO THAT I CAN GET OUT FROM THE cave OF sadness and loneliness.  THE LORD IS MY LIGHT FOREVER...THE LORD IS MY FIRST LOVE ABOVE ANYONE ELSE.

BY THE LOVE OF GOD...NOW I AM OUT OF THE WATER AND HIGH DRY.
BY THE LOVE OF GOD...NOW I AM OUT OF THE THAT SCARY CAVE AND EVERYDAY SINCE THEN...I LOOK UP IN HEAVEN WITHOUT FAIL, GIVING THANKS TO THE LORD....
FOR I KNOW
...GOD SHOWERING LOVE DOWN ONTO ME.
IS THERE MORE WORTH THAN THAT OF HIS LOVE...

MY LESSON LEARNED:  all i can do is remembering memories
....AND ENJOY LIFE TO THE FULLEST for MY TIME NOW HERE ON EARTH IS THE ONLY TIME I WILL EVER HAD.

so please don't let my love scares you all........be happy because of that love...

LORD CREATED US WITH A HEART THAT CAN GIVE LOVE...
LIKE THE FLOWER THAT GIVES US THE BEAUTY OF THE DAY
FOR IT WILL Wither AWAY SOON...
NOT LIKE
OUR HEART...IT KEEPS ON BEATING SO WE CAN
HEAR THE YEARNING OF ANOTHER HEART
FOR THE LOVE THAT WE NEEDED TO LIVE LIFE SHARED!

My Life - Day by Day: WHEN SLEEP SO FAR AWAY

My Life - Day by Day: WHEN SLEEP SO FAR AWAY: WHEN SLEEP SO FAR AWAY (C) Copyright Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - July 15, 2013 Darwin, Australia In the night like tonight,  Whe...

WHEN SLEEP SO FAR AWAY

WHEN SLEEP SO FAR AWAY

(C) Copyright Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - July 15, 2013
Darwin, Australia

In the night like tonight, 
When sleep so far away
I am remembering the best about you
Your ways of showing your love FOR me.

Let me count the ways;

In the eve of my birthday, June 30, 2013
You set the table in your garden
For you and me to share the moment
The best birthday breakfast I ever had.

Your morning birthday greetings, July 1, 2013
So sweet and full of loving feelings
Your gentle kisses and embrace
I can't ask for more, you are my LOVE.

We went after breakfast to clear the Charity Bin
As usual, as if it wasn't my birthday at all
From the city, we visited one of your friend in the hospital
I can't help thinking, what a nice way to celebrate my birthday.

Arriving back to your place, you immediately look around
I secretly wondering, what is what you are looking for
'Anything you are looking for?'  I asked.
'Hmmm....maybe they haven't come yet.' your reply.

So you are expecting someone.........who?  I wonder...in silence!

Waiting......

In some few minutes' I visited the most wonderful moment
I had with you....

When we are sitting face to face at the balcony
You look at me with intensity in your eyes
I often wonder, do I have dirt over my face?
Then, one day you said, you love my pretty face!

Still waiting...to whom who is coming....

A scenario that once happened;
While we are reading at the balcony next to each other
You surprises me...of how romantic you can be if you let yourself go
You kissed my scarred right knee from the wounds on my first fall in your garden.

I KNOW THEN, I am loved!

Waiting........
then...................................................

Eleven-thirty in the morning, someone shouted at the gate
'Anybody home?'  I shouted someone looking for you.'
'Will you see it for me.'  You shouted back, with a smile
'Yes.'  I answered to the man coming towards me!

'Julieta, Anyone died?'  The delivery man asked
'Of course not, no one died.' you responded. (I can feel your disapproval on man's action)
'Oh! The delivery uttered as he handed to me a huge beautiful bouquet of flowers
Then added "YOU GOT TO BE A WONDERFUL LOVELY PERSON TO DESERVE THESE HUGE BOUQUET OF FLOWERS.'  YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON I EVER DELIVERED           THESE SIZE OF BOUQUET.'

'YES, SHE IS, A WONDERFUL LOVELY LADY.'  SHE DESERVE IT...YOU SAID
As I carry the weight of the bouquet, tears started rolling down my cheeks...
'Thank you, so much...for the lovely flowers, it does shows how much you love and care
I AM BLESSED TO HAVE YOU,.'I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART.' 

THANK YOU VERY MUCH....

my 59th birthday bouquet of flowers from you -July 1, 2013

SINCE THAT DAY

SINCE THAT DAY - For you
(C)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - April 26, 2013
Darwin, Australia

Since that day
Everyday, a day to remember
Sharing love, laughter and tears
The feeling of happiness is being with you
A part of me, becoming part of you
Since..... that day (2x)

Chorus:  
(2x)
As I listen to the sound of the wind blows
My heart sings...your name

II

Wind chimes that hangs on your balcony echoes
As my heart beats your name
Flowers, plants and tress in your garden
Singing love songs, high and low as the wind blows
Oh!  A place of love and piece so surrounds.

Repeat chorus:

III

Life a half-full glass of water on the table in front of me
I am not sure what would be the future of you and me
That's my brain talking...
But my heart says...listen to the sound of the wind blows
I can hear the echoes of your love as my heart sings your name
I can hear the echoes of your love as my heart beats your name
Loving you now is like water to life (2x)
Since....that day.

My heart sings, beats your name
Since....that...day.

the pen - January 5, 2013
the 'skyfall' of luck

MY DREAM IS YOU -

MY DREAM IS YOU - (A SONG FOR you)

(c)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - February 5, 2013

Darwin, Australia

IN THE MOMENT OF TIME, I SHARED WITH YOU

THE JOY AND THE LOVE WOULD BE TREASURED BY TWO

THE ART OF KNOWING AND LEARNING ABOUT EACH OTHER

THE MOMENT OF LOVING WILL BE FOREVER THROUGH

FOR RIGHT NOW, RIGHT NOW, I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU

I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU.

IN THE MOMENT OF TIME, I SPENT WITH YOU

I CAN'T ASK FOR MORE THAN THAT OF YOU

IN YOUR ARMS I AM SAFE, IN YOUR ARMS I AM HAPPY

IN YOUR ARMS I AM LOVED, IN YOUR ARMS I AM BLESSED

IN YOUR ARMS I AM YOURS.....IN YOUR ARMS I AM YOURS.....

YOU ARE THE DREAM OF YEARS AGO

AND THAT YOU FOUND ME SO

MY DREAM IS YOU...

MY DREAM FOUND ME SO

MY DREAM IS YOU

MY MOMENT OF TIME,

MY MOMENT OF NOW

MY MOMENT OF RIGHT NOW.....

NOW.....NOW....

IS YOU...YOU, YOU.......

YOU!

Fate or ????

FATE OR????
(C)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - January 20,2013
Darwin, Australia

Before the end of December 2012, I decided to stop 'LOOKING FOR LOVE.' as per a friend keep on telling me.  He thought that I am only dating men because of hoping to find love.  He was so out of line. We had few dinner out in the last couple of years and sure we are not an item.  I am his true and trusted friend for life, he said, and that is that.

By New Year's Eve I am on my own, counting the blessings I have received from GOD ABOVE.  I GIVE THANKS AND GLORY TO GOD AND PRAYERS IN SILENCE.  

My most intensed prayer was that FOR GOD TO GIVE ME MORE STRENGTH SO NOT TO LOOK FOR LOVE ANYMORE.  I surrendered all to HIM.  And whatever HIS DECISION, THY WILL BE DONE.'  I know myself too well, I fall in love like a wink of an eye and then only to realized in the end that it wasn't at all love only but compassion to some who needed someone to talk to and to hold them in my heart.  

It was like a song 'I've loved and lost again' as ever for the last 5 years.  Part of my grieving they said, but surely deep down in my heart I know that it is my own making...not my fault....but just my making I don't plan anything to happened, it just happened.

Many a time all these years since I am in younger years I wanted to stop loving anyone, so not to get hurt but the more I tried to run the more I am stuck in the mud of falling in love as quick as a flash...and the worst result is that 'I will be loving them for the rest of my life, which I am happy anyway to keep them all in my heart.  My heart is big and strong to forgive and what a wonderful feeling of love I have in me.

I say my nightly prayers "Thank you Lord of the day, for all the blessings you've given us and as I closed my eyes I pray that please take good care of us in our sleep and wake us up into another journey of our life tomorrow morning.  I thank you and I love you Lord.  Amen.'  then I went to sleep.

I was awaken by screaming Galahs from the east to the west, and I know it is the morning....As I open my eyes I say my morning prayers.."Thank you Lord for keeping us safe for the night and waking us up today in good spirit....Thank you for the beginning of another year January 1, 2013.  I don't need to ask what I need for You know already what is best for me...I leave everything in your Hands Oh Lord.  Amen.''

Days passed by, Lori and I decided not to go to Casuarina the first week of January 2013 so to break the cycle of going there everyday for five years now.  It is a habit that did grows on us, which is so bad and it is hard to get out of it. 

Friday night comes, January 4, 2013 a lady friend stayed overnight with me....we had a good talk during the night and we wake up late morning of January 5, 2013 Saturday.  I was cooking our breakfast about 10.30 a.m. my home phone rings and Yoly was on the other end..  She was asking me to see James Bond 007 movie "Skyfall' with Ester and her.  I was a bit adamant to go, first it was raining and really I am tired of the late night talk with Naty.  

Yoly won't take no for an answer and told me to ring Ester so we can catch the bus together and to met her at Casuarina at 3.00 p.m. for the movie starts at 3.20 p.m.  So I ring Ester and so she is not going to take no for answer that I am not going.  I give up.

Ester and I catch the 1.15 bus from Casuarina, we arrived at Casuarina 1.55 p.m. too early.  So Ester decided to go to the Hosking Jewellery and bought Mickey Mouse necklace.  I bought a five petals cubic zirconia sterling silver ring with one piece pearl on the center...which Ester and Yoly like it very much and keep asking me how much is the price...I told them with a giggle $2,250.00 after 10% discount from the original price.  They won't believe me because they said I am laughing hard.  Well, I told them the right price yet they won't believe me and keep asking how much...and up to this writing, I don't know if they will ever believe me that my ring is only $22.50.  In reality I am not crazy to buy a ring cost that much and surely I don't have that much to spare...I am on Red now so how can I afford!  Good gracious me!

It is I believe now that 'a rag cannot be a mink whatsoever'  people won't believe me either way of the price for I am only 'a common tao' (ordinary human/man).  Yet, I had a good laugh how I managed to make them so curious with the ring in question.

Anyway, after so much talking about the ring over coffee and cakes, we decided to go towards the cinema.  Nearing the PriceLine Store, Ester said she is going to buy some bottled water, so she went in.  Yoly decided to check her lotto tickets and I decided to take a sit on the long wooden bench in front of the Harrison Pharmacy and waited for them to come back.  As the two takes their ways, I sat down and as I turn to the left I saw a familiar person walking towards my way, he was wearing a checkered shirt and creamy shorts....as he came closer I said ' Hi, Mike how are you?  As he said "Hi, Julieta, I am fine and you?...as we handshakes. 

"Oh! you're engaged?"  Mike said as he saw my newly acquired ring
"Noooo!  It's only...you know...it's nothing." I responded to Mike.
"I was about to say congrats."  Mike added;

 Then he said 'would love to have coffee with you'  which I didn't hesitate to answer 'I would love too.' call me, I am in Facebook.  I stood up as soon as I saw Yoly coming, but I have to sit down again for Ester is still not with us...'How can I contact you, I don't have your number?  Mike said so quietly.  'Oh...as I shuffle things inside my bag, if I can find a pen and a paper to write my number.  Which is so embarrassing, I don't have any of the two.  How convenient, I always have pens and paper in my bag, but why this time, the very first time IN MY LIFE as a widow, a guy asking my numbers I don't have one!

"Mike, do you have pen.?  I asked.  "No" he replied.  
"Yoly, do you have pen?  I asked.  "No"  she replied.
"I don't have either.'  I said looking into Mike.
'Don't worry, I'll borrow a pen."  He responded and walk away walk towards the News Agency.  As I watched him walk away, I thought where is he going to borrow a pen?  Why, not just inside the Pharmacy?  I let my questions slipped away.  We waited for some minutes, and there's no sight of him, so I stood up and said to Yoly ' come on he won't come back.'  Which Yoly said 'no, there he is coming back.' as she saw Mike walking towards us.

Mike tore his short grocery receipt into two, he wrote his numbers to the other half and I wrote my numbers on the other half and we exchanged numbers.  We walk in different directions.  After the movie we had some Kentucky Chicken...and of course as women often do, if there is a guy took ones number we do tend to jokes and laugh about it in a good way anyway.  So it did happened to me.  I am the centre of jokes.  Which I don't mind.  Truly, silently I am asking myself....do Mike really meant what he said that he loves to have coffee with me.

Two days passed no call from Mike, so I told myself no way he will ever call...me the ugly duckling!  I told myself not to be a fool to expect something that might not happen.  I was disappointed.  But honestly I cannot help myself looking and watching the telephone and wishing when to ring...and if it rings hoping to be Mike on the other end.  When it didn't happen I give up.

Then, without expectation he rings up and ask me to have dinner with him at the Wharf, which I accepted without hesitation.  Why would I hesitate...the moment I heard Mike's voice I am on cloud nine...hmmmmmmmmm too early you may say..........I told myself that too!!  

I am all excitement waiting for the dinner on January 10, 2013.  The waiting that day was the worst anxiety I ever had.  I felt I am a sixteen years old waiting for her first date....I suppose it was the way for me...first date after 5 years....

January 10, 2013 is my dad's 89th birthday and as I've said on my previous Blog, for too much excitement first time ever I forgot my dad's birthday.  But, I forgive myself for I didn't do it intentionally, it was an honest mistake.  I talk to my sister after few days and she just laugh after I told her to what happened.  I told her to tell dad I am sorry but I still love him.  Yesterday I talked to my sister again and she said when she told dad to what happened dad had a good laugh too, and that I am lovingly forgiven.  She said it is now my time to enjoy life after all I've done to the whole family...time for me to shine on my life!  I was crying and laughing for the happiness I am feeling at that very moment of how my dad and family wishes for my happiness.  I am so Blessed, Oh, Lord! Thank You!

Twelve days today after my first date with Mike, I am as excited as ever the first time we exchanged our numbers.  We had another dinner and movie and dinner and picnic at East Point and dinner even in the cyclonic weather last night at the wharf for he did promised to take me there.  I said to him as he reverse his car from my garage 'It is raining...dinner rain or shine, Mike.'  His response "Yes, Julieta rain or shine.'  

Silently, I said "Thank you Lord, I am so lucky at this very moment, sharing time with this very kind person." 

After our dinner he took me home and have a cup of water...as he was sipping it now and then he said "I'll ring you on Tuesday morning, what time I'll pick you up for the movie."  

"Ok." is my response. I slept all through the night....

I went out to Casuarina with "Day Lori so to meet 'Day Grace for lunch.  After lunch we walk around window shopping until we are sitting about Country Road Shop my mobile phone rings...I was so surprised to see it is him ringing.  Obviously we are only Monday not Tuesday...as I answered the phone I am thinking, did I misheard his words last night?  I am sure I didn't.

Anyway....as usual since our first date...he will said "I ring you next week.'  the next day he will ring...so now I am use to it that with Mike our next week is few hours after he left me....and I am not complaining on this...I am glad he thinks about me that soon....

IF THIS IS A DREAM....I DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP....
IF THIS IS REALITY....
PLEASE .....
LET IT BE'.....

We both looking forward on seeing each other tomorrow.....

I've forgotten my father's birthday first time ever

(c)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - January 15, 2013
Darwin, Australia

Jules, what are doing today? Yoly asked over the phone early morning of Saturday, January 5, 2013.
Oh, I am planning to tidy up my house, been neglected for months now, I responded.
Forget about that, do it another time, ring Ester and tell her that you are going with us.  Yoly responded excitedly.
Oh! think give it a ....
Hey, come on I won't take no for an answer...Yoly cut me off...
So in the end I lost.
     After of me saying to Ester of me changing mind of not going because it was raining.  Ester won't take no for an answer either.  She reasoned 'Rain', you have umbrella bring it with you.  That was it.
     Ester and I catch the 1.15 p.m.bus from Casuarina.  The movie won't be until 3.20 p.m.  Ester went to Hosking Jewellery Shop and bought 'mickey mouse' fashion necklace.  While she was paying her buy, I just happened to looked down and saw this five petals silver/cubic zerconia ring...and I was intrigue of the price so I asked the saleslady...if that is the right price and she said if you are a gold member, it still have a bit of a 10% discount.
     Without thinking I said 'if the ring fits me, its mine.' And so it did, so I bought it.  When Ester so saw she like it and asked me how much did I pay for it...'$2,250.00'  I reply with a good giggle.
      'Jules, now you are fooling me again, I know that laugh...sure it is not the right price.  Ester answer
I keep quite and let her stew if it is really the price of my ring.  She invited me to have a cuppa while waiting for Yoly.  We are finishing our cuppa and cakes when Yoly arrived, so we move towards the Cinema, then Ester decided to buy some water at PriceLine and Yoly decided to go and have a check her Lotto tickets, so they left me in front of Harrison Pharmacy.
     While waiting, I saw a familiar gentleman coming from my left and then he stopped in front me and we exchanged some few hello and how are you, as Yoly came back.
      From there we had to find a pen so I can give my number to the gentleman, he has no pen, I have no pen  (which is so not of me, I usually have two or more pens in my bag) but today none...Yoly don't have either...so he end up saying 'don't worry, I'll borrow a pen.'
     Of course he didnt borrow...he bought a pen...and we both have no paper too, so he end up tearing off his short grocery docket...halve he write his number and the halve I have written my number and we exchange our numbers...He went different direction and we went and see the movie.
     Five days after then, he invited me to have dinner with him at the wharf and it was a wonderful!  I enjoyed his company and gosh, after five years since my husband passed away....I am finding myself relaxed in the public in the company of someone.  I am feeling bit strange but feeling good inside!  Wonderful!
     Gosh!  My, I am guilty as charged...today I had a talked to my little sister Jesusa and she was so worried about me and upset because she been waiting the whole day, whole night of January 10, 2013 and up today why I didn't called on father's birthday (Jan. 10, 2013).  Yes, I forgot my father's birthday for the first time ever.  I was crying and laughing as I talk to my sister...so as she...she said 'gosh, you are in love again, very much in love, because you've forgotten our father's birthday.'
     Thanks goodness sense of humour is our best richness in our family...as we say goodbye I told her to tell father that 'I am in love again so the reason why I've forgotten his birthday.'  We had a good laugh, for we know that father will have a good laugh as well.
     Tonight a good movie and hot chilli meals at Hanuman with someone special I am blessed!
Thank you Lord for a lovely day!
     For the special someone...thank you for e verything and sure my father won't take it against you...because of our first date...on his very Birthday is a coincidence or just fate?

FOR MY FATHER.....I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART.... WE ARE BLESSED TO HAVE YOU AS OUR LOVING FATHER.  HUGS, KISSES AND HEAPS AND HEAPS OF LOVE.
   

You ripped my heart into Pieces

(c)Copyright Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt
Darwin, Australia - January 3, 2013

This is a song for you:

You pick me up with a broken heart
Help me mended it back
Only for you, only for you
To again rip it apart.

You've ripped my heart into pieces
The pain is so such
Oh, you've hurt me so much
My heart is crying non stop
But I am dazed and confused
Why I still love you this much.
chorus:

ALL I'VE BEEN DOING IS KEEP STITCHING BACK
THE SYNAPSES BETWEEN OUR HEARTS
WITH THE NEEDLE OF LOVING
I THREAD WITH UNDERSTANDING
I BUTTONED IT WITH LOTS OF CARING
AND A FULL STOP OF FORGIVING.

That is how much I love you
Friends see the bad side of you, and i see it too
They said, I deserve better than you
So I must get rid and forget you
As if I never met and knew you
For they said, I deserve better than you
All I've doing is keep crying over you.........
So they said, I deserve better than you
So I have to get rid and forget you...

Repeat chorus and last stanza...

Fade: but I am dazed and confused

because I still love you so.

An enduring love....a one and thousand stitches and more...

high school memories

for Jayne Gilvear

as promised.....