(c)Julieta Casabuena Facto Moffatt - July 28, 2013
Darwin, Australia
Why? My love scared the hell out of them? In all due respects I deleted photos and names and next time never would I used names and photos of some. I ear-marked it in my heart. Never will I ever hurt them again.
Anyone should be happy if I given them my Love. Because when I love someone, I give the best possible unconditional love and just be happy for that. You are loved without begging for it...that is the beauty of it.... a love that is freely given. No service fees.
GOD DIED FOR US BECAUSE OF HIS LOVE TO US MANKIND....so what is wrong with me to love much?
If one don't want or need my love don't come near me, for they will only be disappointed of me not loving them...so if one out there thinking of knowing me and not expecting to be loved, please stay foot wherever they may be.
Yet, in this chaotic world of ours...time changed and so as with some of our behaviours goes with it. People forget how to reciprocate love...For five years or so ago, I was one of them, because of grieving...there is nothing wrong to grieve...if only I accepted it sooner with opened heart and let it flow, but I didn't. That time I started not to feel love I was so cold inside.
I was suffering in silence...mouth closed I am shouting and screaming for help...at that time I need someone to love me but no one did ever see me...the pain and suffering were so intense. The sadness part is that Recovery is a very slow process. It makes us so vulnerable in every way. I was taken for granted so many times during those grieving time, even now. But it doesn't surprises me at all...I am used to it...always on the losing end of the stick...yet, it is all a part of who I am now. It made me strong!
My best weapon is my LORD, as I can't hurry anything...only GOD CAN CALM THE SEA AND THE ONLY ONE CAN PUT PULL STOP ON ALL my MISERIES. I've given everything to the LORD. AND I AM SO THANKFUL THAT I DID, FOR THE REASON why I AM still HERE TODAY alive.
BUT, THE LORD didn't put magic to me just because I prayed hard to HIM FOR HIS GUIDANCE, I did my share, helping myself to get out of the darkness surrounding me. I was caged, caved and scared. One day I decided to kick my arse for I and I alone can change my self value and no one else. Even the best shrink in the face of the earth can 't change my thinking unless I want to. Going seeing the shrink only relieving the anxiety and suffering of pain. I stopped seeing them for I am the only shrink can CURE MY WOUNDED HEART AND FEELING SELF PITY....I am glad I never had a feeling of GUILT...for I've given my best of the best of loving and caring.
My acceptance that changed my opinion about death. Death is not the tragedy, but when I lost my feelings to love once more that is the TRAGEDY for it kills the life in me. Love is the only cure for my broken hearted. My first agenda to recovery was and is 'I LOVE GOD ABOVE ALL....I stopped negative thoughts, for if I did dwelt in them...definitely I am in ruin today without doubt.
With all thanks to the LORD that HE didn't put my desire of the body over my sense of shame...if I didn't hold onto the LORD...I am sure I've been with many men on a one night stand... I am so blessed that since five years or so ago up to the present...I've been intimate only and only to one man and I hope it would stay that way.
I hold onto GOD'S HAND, KEEP LOVING HIM ABOVE ALL, and HE let never go me. When I am drifting away HE hold MY hand and keep ME AFLOAT. I shut the entrance to the cave with GOD'S LOVE and since then I never dare to go in the cave...for it was so dark and cold in there...I let the LORD carry the torch FOR ME SO THAT I CAN GET OUT FROM THE cave OF sadness and loneliness. THE LORD IS MY LIGHT FOREVER...THE LORD IS MY FIRST LOVE ABOVE ANYONE ELSE.
BY THE LOVE OF GOD...NOW I AM OUT OF THE WATER AND HIGH DRY.
BY THE LOVE OF GOD...NOW I AM OUT OF THE THAT SCARY CAVE AND EVERYDAY SINCE THEN...I LOOK UP IN HEAVEN WITHOUT FAIL, GIVING THANKS TO THE LORD....
FOR I KNOW
...GOD SHOWERING LOVE DOWN ONTO ME.
IS THERE MORE WORTH THAN THAT OF HIS LOVE...
MY LESSON LEARNED: all i can do is remembering memories
....AND ENJOY LIFE TO THE FULLEST for MY TIME NOW HERE ON EARTH IS THE ONLY TIME I WILL EVER HAD.
so please don't let my love scares you all........be happy because of that love...
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| LORD CREATED US WITH A HEART THAT CAN GIVE LOVE... LIKE THE FLOWER THAT GIVES US THE BEAUTY OF THE DAY FOR IT WILL Wither AWAY SOON... NOT LIKE OUR HEART...IT KEEPS ON BEATING SO WE CAN HEAR THE YEARNING OF ANOTHER HEART FOR THE LOVE THAT WE NEEDED TO LIVE LIFE SHARED! |
